Well, my life still seems to be missing in action but I'm living it regardless. The usual flurry of social activity interspersed by what can only be described as constant "to do" list making. Funny thing is a I don't ever seem to be getting any of it done.
I sit here and look around my apartment and wonder how realistic it is to believe that I will be able transport and recreate it more than 3000 miles away. I guess the relocation agents I've had in rummaging through my stuff over the last week will ensure that it happens, but I just can't quite believe it myself.
I'm off to London this coming Saturday for a week-long flying visit to meet new colleagues, new clients and secure a roof over my head. I don't know which task is more daunting to be honest. Having moments where I'm so incredibly excited and motivated by it all... and then suddenly, and equally, overwhelmed. I understand this is normal, however.
I'm also getting into the realm of the "lasts" and the "one more times". "When should I book my last hair appointment?" "Do I have time to have my nails done at Arudy one more time?" "Will that be my last time at karaoke?" And (said in false relief) "Well, that will be my last bikini wax at Boudoir!".
"Will I be able to see you one more time before the last time I see you... ?" (cue panic attack)
And it's at these times, one can't help feel like a drama queen imagining one's own death... and while it is, in many senses, the death of "a life" I'm experiencing, I do have to remind myself how God-damn lucky I've been, and more importantly, I am.
D-day (I don't think it's been officially logged yet) is December 31. Seven years to the day, when I arrived in Tokyo. Seven year itch I guess, although I feel like I am administering treatment for chronic dermatitis, rather than a mild rash.
So anyways, what have I been up to? Well there was the gaikon (Japanese style group dating - gokon - for gaijins). Of course in three months time, this will be called "going down the pub" for me, but you know, when in Tokyo... Mr. Sussed supplied the male specimens, and I, the female. Have to say he actually came up with the goods (not that I didn't, mind you) and if I hadn't just heard that very day that I was to be repatriated in a matter of weeks, I might even have been obsessed and rejected by at least one of them today. But alas, I had no concentration for it, and actually ended up taking myself off to find companionable comfort in an old and familiar, rather than join the nijikai. It's amazing how a deadline can focus the mind and make you prioritize. And make you incredibly sentimental.
Also, had potentially my "last" (told ya) play reading, although there is talk of squeezing "one more time" in before I leave. But well, if we don't, my last was, at least, a funny one. Another Stoppard called Rough Crossing.
From farce to head-fuck, after the reading I went to see a midnight screening of Tarnation at the Tokyo International Film Festival. I had been warned it was disturbing but was assured that I would feel infinitely better about my own life, after watching it. But I didn't, I just felt more convinced than ever that there is a very thin and fragile line between normality and potential insanity. Granted I'm not highly likely to become an unwilling victim of electric shock treatment, like the director's mother, but then again I bet she never thought should would either...
Oh and in one of those "it could only happen because you are leaving" scenarios, J24 has briefly (and perhaps rightly so) re-entered my life. Turns out J24 was actually J23 until his very recent b-day. Oops. But then again in his mind he assumes I'm "about 28" so it's all relative.
Yeah, so it's not been all bad. Just bizarre.
Must get back to them lists.
Interestingly enough I'll be moving to Tokyo the same day you leave.. ... or maybe it isn't interesting at all.. but hey! now you know what you'll miss :)
Posted by: hk | November 09, 2004 at 10:07 PM
HK, I'm afraid you'll find that it won't be the same without me ;-)
Posted by: tokyoredhed | November 10, 2004 at 12:45 PM
no doubt, no doubt! :/
Posted by: hk | November 10, 2004 at 05:53 PM
But if you have even half the good time I've had, you will be as happy as you'll ever want to be.
Posted by: tokyoredhed | November 11, 2004 at 12:08 AM
Hm in that case you must have some nice places to recomend, ne? where do you go on a tuesday evening for a nice cup of coffee?
Posted by: hk | November 11, 2004 at 12:56 AM
HK - I like sbux and I'm not ashamed to say it but I think you are looking for more than coffee right? So I refer you to this site http://jeansnow.net/category/cafe/ It's all about the ambiance. Enjoy!
Posted by: tokyoredhed | November 12, 2004 at 04:16 PM
Superb! I do occasionally read Jean's blog, but I've never had a look at this category! Thanks a lot!!
Posted by: hk | November 14, 2004 at 05:47 AM