Tokyo Redhed: Shitty Banking

TRH: Hello, I would like to close my bank account today, I'm leaving Japan on Friday

Shitty Rep: Yes, no problem.

TRH: OK, first I would like to transfer some money to my pre-registered bank account in the UK and then have the remainder in cash

Shitty Rep: Oh we don't do overseas transfers at this branch and it will take several days to set up

TRH: Huh? But it is already set up, it's pre-registered and I can usually do it over the phone...

Shitty Rep: Oh so you already have a transfer set up?

TRH: Yes...

Shitty Rep: But you can't transfer at this branch

TRH: Can I use your phone?

Shitty Rep: Why?

TRH: Because I want to make the transfer over the phone!

Shitty Rep: Oh yes, you can do that.

TRH: And after I make this call, can I close my bank account.

Shitty Rep: Yes.

TRH: OK, well I would like to take some cash out first

Shitty Rep: You can use the ATM over there.

TRH: OoooooKkkk

[TRH walks across the bank floor to use ATM to get cash, comes back and uses Shitty Bank telephone to transfer money. Despite all efforts to empty her account however, TRH finds there is still 1742 yen in the account]

TRH: Sorry there is still 1742 yen in my account and I can't take that amount out the ATM, could you just give it to me before you close my account?

Shitty Rep: You want the 1742 yen?

TRH: Ummmm yes, I wouldn't mind.

Shitty Rep: OK, well what you need to do is deposit 258 yen into your account and then take 2000 yen out.

TRH: [Senses that a "what the fuck?" response is not going to get her anywhere and therefore, asks] And how should I do that?

Shitty Rep: Oh, at the ATM over there.

[TRH and Shitty Rep proceed to ATM to make a deposit of 258 yen. However, TRH discovers that she only has 500 yen worth of change in her purse. No problem, says Shitty Rep, you can put it in and you will get change. TRH, now ready to scream. After a deposit, some change, and then a withdrawal, finally TRH's bank account is now empty and can be closed.]

TRH: OK, I can hardly bear to ask but would it be OK, if I now cancel my credit card?

Shitty Rep: Oh, you have to call the credit card company on this number on the back of the card.

TRH: But it is your bank's card!

Shitty Rep: Yes, but it is another division.

TRH: Can I use your phone please?

Shitty Rep: Um yeeeessss.

TRH: Hello, I'm leaving Japan, I'm sitting in Shitty Bank and I have just closed my bank account, and would now like to cancel my credit card, and they tell me I need to talk to you.

Shitty Rep 2: That's right... when are you leaving Japan?

TRH: Friday

Shitty Rep 2: And you have closed your account?

TRH: With some difficulty, yes.

Shitty Rep 2: Oh that makes things a bit difficult because there is still money to pay on the card and now you don't have a bank account from which we can take it.

TRH: Yes, I appreciate that, however I assumed that I would be able to pay the remaining debt at... well, at your bank

Shitty Rep 2: Yes, well I guess you could transfer the money to us.

TRH: And how would I do that?

Shitty Rep 2: You could do it at the ATM

TRH: Thanks!

[TRH and Shitty Rep 1 once more head to the ATM to deposit and transfer funds from one Shitty Bank to another.After which Shitty Rep ceremoniously cuts up both cards in front of TRH]

A physical transfer to London is now beginning to make perfect sense.

Comments

Babe - i TOTALLY hear you - ShittyBank is my worst banking experience ever [they even outdid Lloyds on every level ;-]

Completely inflexible and so unwilling to offer any constructive help... not to mention the 2,000 / month account "management" fee... for ABSOLUTLEY NOTHING!!!!

I took Keruko's advice and will share my interest with Shinsei in 2005.

So long Shitty Bank!!

;-)

p.s. in case i don't get to post again - (early) happy new year for the 31st and safe travels home ')

mwah!
xx

Posted by: glittergirl | December 28, 2004 at 06:38 AM